Christmas Trees

This year I would wield the axe and hack ruthlessly into your side,
grinning like a mad woman—
Again and again goes the blade!

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Christmas Trees

The dominoes are falling
one by one by one.
I lie beneath a heavy wooden wheel
while days pass.
In winter the world astonishes.
I am still beneath a hanging branch and a white and grey sky.

Enormous evergreens dark under drifts of snow seem proud.
Not yet Christmas Trees.
But oh, how we’ll wound you!
Tonight it feels almost holy to shed your blood and this truth burns from the inside out.

This year I would wield the axe and hack ruthlessly into your side, grinning like a mad woman—
Again and again goes the blade!
You break surprisingly softly and I feel cruel, yet purposeful.
At last I’ll carry you home and the fresh scent of you will bring us joy.

Still you live!
Each day drinking the water and gasping for air.
I marvel at your dying, jealous almost.
Are you surprised by this murderous intent?
Perhaps we are monsters after all.

The season passes…marked for me by the momentous occasion of your surrender and for a moment I feel unblemished, relieved.
This of course does not last.
What once was mighty has been erased.
And only the roots are left.
To wind deeper into the center of the earth.

Kimkoa 2010

Author: bravelybipolargirl

I’m a writer and stay-home mother of three. I live with my husband, mother and 4 1/2 year old daughter in Wasilla, Alaska. My two teenage sons 14 and 16 spend summers and holidays with us. I am diagnosed bipolar 1 with psychotic features and my mission is to eradicate the stigma of mental illness in our society.

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